Surreal Moment this Week… When a Photo Wasn’t A Photo


Mikey, Crochet Crowd

Michael Sellick – Mikey

This week I had a heart breaking situation happen to me. It was more about me being me and not realizing it’s me…

I had a couple system crashes this week. I’ve been having them a lot over the past few months. The video data is way too much for my computer and I keep running out of disc space. It’s a real pain as every 3 – 4 days I have to delete files to make room for new content that is created.

It’s been a really tough week for me this week. I have to say… this past Monday, for the first time… I wanted to quit and end my career as Mikey. With constant system failures, a few cranky people emails from fans that aren’t happy with me and etc… I just hit a limit this week that was so upsetting for me.

My surreal moment came. With the screen of death… I needed to delete photos to get my system operational so I could at least get unlocked from being stopped. I was going through Photo Booth shots… Picture after picture of me sitting in front of my computer that have been used over the past 2 years… As I flipped through… I am looking more tired as the months past…

I kept flipping having the moment of seeing myself transform weight issues and my overall look. I then hit a pick that just floored me… My gawd… When did I take that shot? I looked like I was hit by a bus… I sat back in my chair in horror… only to realize the photo wasn’t a photo… It was a live shot of me. I was sitting still and not realizing that it wasn’t a photo until I sat back in my chair. A huge sadness over swept me… What am I doing to myself

In the effort to please people, I’m wearing myself out. I’m a people pleaser and don’t like to say no… So I say yes to more things than I should. If I am cornered and see that I cannot do something and say no… it typically generates in responses from others that are negative… which then I feel pressured to take on more because I feel badly… but I think my own ways are ruining me.

I feel extremely lazy if I take time off and I cannot handle it as I feel I am letting people down.

I’m a workaholic and I don’t know how to break this cycle… While others have addictions to drugs or alcohol… my addiction is work. While I get a high off working, it suppresses my need for rest and keeping my life in balance. I always say that I am going to take a few hours off here and there throughout the week but it never happens. I’m upset with myself as I cannot seem to break my own habit.

I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with me… My mind is constantly busy working on the next content item for my audience. I’m working 6 months ahead in my mind… From my day of working, I dream of ideas in my sleep and wake up to remember them to make them a reality… I immediately get out of bed and check my email and start working from the minute I get up.

My To Do List never ends… and I can make it extremely large… when I think I am done… it doesn’t take much for me to create another loaded to do list.

To admit to my fans… My teenage years were hell. Though my family was good to me… life outside of the house was a living nightmare for me. Most kids who go through high school can relate to the bullying and peer pressure. While feeling like an absolute waste of a human being in school. Being reminded by others that I am wasting oxygen on this planet. One person encouraged me to end my life and I tried several times… but failed. I got myself a job where I didn’t feel like I was a waste. I felt useful, helpful and loved the gratification of being appreciated. So while in high school I would carry a knife to protect myself, though it was never needed. I was afraid, alone and classify this as the worst 4 years of my life. The element of working allowed me to feel like I mattered.

Over my lifetime… the element of working… I think from my teenage years has stuck with me. While it helps me to make me successful today as I have a lot of goals and perseverance to follow through. It’s also my downfall as I don’t know how to turn off.

I thought I would be really honest tonight in my blog… I know many of my followers struggle with one thing or another. I’m not perfect and don’t want others to think that I am…

Thanks for listening.

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About Mikey, The Crochet Crowd

I am Mikey, owner of The Crochet Crowd Blog. I'm a 'hooker' at heart with the passion to crochet. I am from Ontario Canada and teach how to crochet online through YouTube Video Tutorials. From a simple idea and being at the right place and time in my life back in 2008, the concept of The Crochet Crowd was developed. I'm here to hook and share. Come follow my crochet journey and share yours with comments here and you are most welcome to share your creativity within our Facebook page.
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217 Responses to Surreal Moment this Week… When a Photo Wasn’t A Photo

  1. One thing that helps me is my husband. Whenever I talk about starting up a big project or volunteering for organizing a family event, he gives me a reality check. He reminds me of my existing commitments and what my anticipated work load will be. Perhaps Diva Dan can do the same for you. Instead of saying “no” say I have to check my schedule, then review the project and your existing commitments with Diva Dan. He probably has a very good idea of what is too much to do and just how bad it is for you to over commit.

    Good luck! Finding the correct balance in life is always a challenge.

  2. Tina Morris says:

    Hi Mikey,

    I found your website last month after having surgery. I was in a lot of pain and very depressed. Your site help me take the focus off the pain and put it on a passion of crochet.

    I know that you work so hard to inspire all of us, but I just wanted you to know that you not only help us with our creativity, but your wonderful attitude and personality reach many of us when we are going through hard times.

    Thank you for all you do!!! You are a blessing to this world!

  3. Penny Rongo says:

    Mikey, we love you and care about your well being. Take time to smell the roses. Your dedication to your craft is admirable but it is also destroying the person within you. I think perhaps the frustration over your computer has been the final straw to your downward spiral.
    It is time to relax, take a deep breath and clear your mind.
    Your true friends and fans will be here waiting for you when you decide to come back refreshed and renewed just as Spring renews itself each year so must the human body and mind.
    Peace, love, respect.

  4. jniharris says:

    Reading your words, I felt a familiarity with the feelings you expressed….that need to be the best, to work the hardest, to do the most work…to earn that recognition and validation we all need. Your heart, though, knows that you must listen to your own wisdom. You are burning yourself out, Mikey, and that is something that no one wants.

    Mikey, we love that you work so hard for us, but we don’t need you to kill yourself or give yourself a stroke for us. Taking vacations is fine, but I don’t think that alone will help you.

    Mikey, you need to schedule your work day like any other person who works from home. Set a work schedule for yourself and make sure you schedule down time for yourself every day. None of us would work non-stop like you seem to, and we absolutely do not want or expect you to do that for us either.

    Stop trying to work 16 hour days. Start spending some quality time being a better partner to Diva Dan. Spend time with your friends and family. Laugh a lot. Enjoy your life.

    We DO want you for the long haul. That means you have to put balance back in your life. In doing that, you’ll be doing all of us a huge favor.

    • Cheryl says:

      This is the first time I have posted anything on the Crochet Crowd blog but I have to agree with the comment above from “jniharris”. I have found your blog and your site to be an inspiration to me after many years of taking a break from crafts in general. Your site has taught me so much about what I can achieve and what I can manage and has brought me a newfound relaxation by crafting again.

      I can’t thank you enough for that!

      But, above all else, you must take care of yourself – that is the only way you can help us to take care of ourselves – set an example for us to follow.

      We want you here for a very long time!

      Cheryl

  5. Marilyn Denler says:

    Mikey take care of yourself. Treat yourself as you treat others– with care and compassion. You have a talent of inspiring and encouraging us and from reading the other posts it shows how much you have impacted many lives for the good. Be good to yourself and know we are and will be here for you. God bless you.

  6. Cherie says:

    Courageous, you forgot to mention how courageous you are Mikey ! Sometimes simply surviving is the hardest thing of all to do.

    I understand from my own “survival years” how difficult it can be to find a little peace & to finally begin to experience happiness again. For me, I had to stay busy in every waking moment so that there was no time for the painful feelings & thoughts to find a way in. I didn’t turn things around fully until the day I’d finally gone without sleep& food for so long that I was physically too weak that to maintain the emotional walls I’d built to protect myself.

    The problem with walls is that while they keep things out they also keep things locked inside.

    It is my wish for you that you’ve reached the time & place where you can retreat to a safe space and let go of the hidden things that still drive you to push yourself too hard. The good news is that when you can really surrender to releasing old stuff like that ( my mantra being ” God I just can’t carry this around anymore, please come and lift it from me”) after the first few sobs there isn’t any pain even while I find myself making tortured animal sounds. It’s as if the crying becomes something my body needs to do, my heart has already been healed. Best of all there’s no blotchy skin, bloodshot eyes, or red nose. I’ve only cried like that a few times but when it was over I was absolutely radiant.

    Then again maybe this isn’t what you need. Whatever your way is, I hope you find it with as much ease & grace as possible.

    Blessings

  7. Linda says:

    We appreciate your hard work, and your inspiration. Take care and thanks!

  8. Mavis. Randell says:

    Oh Michael. Take some time for yourself, you are so special. You have taught me so much. What ever we do we cannot please everyone, but if you can just realize that you help so many people far more than the complainers. Bless you.

  9. Candi McDowell says:

    Mikey, I too am a people pleaser. I’ve bee accused of being too nice. LOL is there such a thing? Oh. I can be a beast but people outside my closest circle rarely see that. My resolution this year was to stop saying yes unless I truly want to do it. I know your situation is different. Also, it takes 20 days to make or break a habit. So. Change how you start your day. Get up, spend 20 mins doing other than WORK activity. Drink coffee. Have breakfast. Do a little relaxing. Then, go to the computer. There are people who will never be happy. Stop trying to please the unpleasable. As for computer stuff….always my issue with my phone. It’s always full. I have 4 yorkies and a beautiful daughter….my phone is full of pics. Maybe get a huge external drive? I used to dabble in digital photography, before smartphones. I had to get external drives because it would fill my computer up. I love your personality, your videos, your tutorials are THE BEST OUT THERE. My husband has started calling me a “yarn porn addict”…because I’m always watching and learning something to do with crochet. And I just learned last month! LOL keep smiling. I’m praying for you. And always remember, you are greatly loved…but ya gotta Vaca now and then. 🙂 hugs!

  10. janllloyd says:

    thanks for sharing, i feel honoured

  11. Kris Rubi says:

    Mikey. Ur story is so familiar. However , u have persevered and come out head held high. U r a beautiful person. U r my inspiration. U have taken ur hobby and turned it into ur work. Wish I was able to do that. I hope to be able to do more crocheting when I retire. But for now, it keeps me sane. I just recently transformed one if the kids rooms into my craft room. It is a WIP but I luv it. Don’t let ur passion bring u down. Take time to stop and smell the roses Spend time with Dan Give urself a break once in a while and smile. Xoxo

  12. Lisa Allain says:

    Hey Mikey, I’m fairly new to this crochet environment (I learned to crochet from your Tutorials) but I can’t imagine anyone becoming angry with you. You have provided free lessons and fun projects. Who can possibly be angry? Please know that you have many followers who like and respect you……….treat those who complain the way that a bully should be treated…..IGNORE THEM! They don’t deserve your energy. Try to sit back and take a breather. As one poster said, we’ll still be here! I brag to everyone I know that you taught me to crochet and I love it! Thank you for what you do.

  13. Christine Bye says:

    We all have a reason for the way we are.You are very brave to say yours here and it is a good first step to change. I hope you listen to your reflection and take time for you.
    All hard work does not pay off if at end of the day the person in the mirror isn’t you.
    Try reading the book “embracing uncertainty “by the late SusanJeffers.
    And Chi Gong so very good for you.

  14. evelyn says:

    If you don’t take care of yourself then who can? I am sure Dan would in a heartbeat, but you probably would not let him. You are so very important to so many of us, that you do us (not to mention yourself) a disservice if you do not take care of yourself. Take a day or two off a week an don’t have anything to do with “Crochet Crowd” we will survive. You are so much more than your can ever know to some of us .So, you must take care of yourself. WE do love you .

  15. Maria Torres says:

    Dear Mikey, as a fan of you and your crowd, I can respect the difficulty it is for you to people please, but please don’t hurt yourself in the process. There is only one of you and you are irreplaceable, especially in this community. If a vacation, (and I mean from everything related to blogging editing and the crowd) is needed, then you should do it. There are countless people who would miss you but you need to take care of your self and allow for limitations to be set. Not everyone will be happy with all you do, but the result will be a healthier you. My thing is if they are not there to help you with your bills, your time, or your health, then they don’t need to be around. It’s easier said than done, and with your career in being a host for a wonderful group, it’s far more difficult to weed the haters out. I’m hoping that you cheer up, and not feel bogged down by your dedication to your work. Feel better and know that you are wonderful. You are the crochet voice in my head. Thank you.

  16. Susan Myrick says:

    Mikey you do what you have to do to take care of yourself!!! I know how hard it is to say no, but you need to. It’s not selfish, but it will take care of you so that you can do what is that will make you happy. You have made a big difference in my life by sharing your crocheting and your life stories. I get lots of laughs and encouragement and strive to do better. Hopefully you can balance it out so that you are taking care of yourself and still doing the great things that you like to do. I so much appreciate all the patterns and videos you do, it challenges me to do better. I can’t wait to meet you on the 2015 first cruise!! lots of hugs

  17. gbug3 says:

    Baby Boy, first of all thanks for your willingness to just let it all out. It takes a lot of courage to bare your soul. Second, you realize that things are out of control in your life. That takes wisdom. Now to get to the serenity part. This is your life and you are the only one who can make the changes that will lead toward peace. Make little changes and only make one at a time. This journey is a process. Cut yourself some slack, Honey. There are a whole bunch of us standing around shaking our homemade pompoms and cheering you on. Do what is right for you, Mikey. Stop and smell the roses. Breathe deeply. Again. One more time. You can do this.

  18. margar02 says:

    MIKEY Everyone has already said so many wonderful things and I can say DITTO to them all but I do have one point so I hope you’re reading this!!!
    BUY AN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE. Like a terabyte or two (a couple hundred bucks, tops) and store your photos off your hard drive!

  19. Angela steinberg says:

    No one should ever be made to feel useless. Or feel pressured into hurting themselves. Everyone is here for a reason, and it’s not up to anyone else to determine why. I and many of your followers are happy to have you in our lives. However, not at the expense of your health, take care of yourself, we’ll be here whenever your healthy and ready to carry on.

  20. Anna Guy says:

    Ah Mikey. You need big hugs and to know that you’re loved, just as you are. You don’t need to run yourself ragged to prove you’re worthy to breathe the same air as the rest of mankind. (‘m looking at myself back down the tunnel of time, and I wish I’d had the candour that your have – someone might have helped me before my whole system collapsed and I ended up with fibromyalgia. I strongly suspect that most people with this condition were once people who drove themselves far too hard because of that lying inner voice.

    Unions fought for an 8hour day for a reason. Since I spend most of my time crocheting, I realise that I spend about 8hrs a day “working”, 8 sleeping (or trying to), and 8 doing “other things” It seems to be the body’s natural rhythm.

    A wise man, who ran a multi-million dollar corporation once told me, “I block out time in my diary – for dates with my wife, holidays, alone time, etc . Since I’ve been doing that, I’ve been delegating better, enjoying life more, and surprising myself by being more productive, too.”

    Another thought is to buy an external hard drive for your computer. I keep all my photos on one, and I’m about to buy a second, to keep all my crochet-related stuff on, too.

    Please know that we all love you, You don’t need to have a nervous breakdown for anybody. Ask Daniel to help you set some limits, and keep them. You’re a treasure, and you deserve better.

    • Marlene blackall says:

      Ahi Anna, I hope Mikey will try &take a break & stop being hard on himself.
      I also was a workaholic, could never say no.
      A friend told me ” PEOPLE WORK TO LIVE ….YOU LIVE TO WORK”
      I also broke down & ended up with Fibromyalagia. Now I am unable to do very little.
      Mikey if you cannot do it for yourself, do it for Dan. Give both of you a life. We will all still be here. treasure your health ..a d relax.

  21. Loretta Burnham says:

    I know, exactly where you’re coming from. I use to push, myself to work,keep my house clean and I found that I never had time for myself. I had to set time for me, not feel bad, about it. I have, push to much, that I have medical problems. Take time each day for you, take care of you, first. I love The a Crochet Crowd,but I don’t want you to get sick. So, relax a little and be Happy. I would hate to see the crochet crowd end. But,you come first. We love ya,Mikey

  22. Terry says:

    Mikey as I started reading this I thought you were quitting! So many of us were bullied and kicked around; this was before it was cool to make a stand against bullying. But it made us both strong enough to get through the self-hatred and suicidal thoughts.

    Being a workaholic isn’t healthy either. We love you for your dedication to teaching the fine art of crocheting and other needlecrafts but what good are you to anyone if you push yourself into a heart attack or breakdown?

    Love yourself enough to ignore us a few hours a day. Take a walk. Talk to God. Dig in the dirt a little. You’ll live longer and we’ll have your giggle to cheer us longer!

  23. Leandra says:

    Mikey – You are loved more than you know…just the way your are. You give back more than most! I appreciate everything that you do and wish I had half the energy that you have. You do need to remember to take care of you! Don’t worry about those that take advantage…you know how to un-friend someone 🙂 Learning the word NO is a hard lesson. Pick a few events a year you really want to be a part of and just do those. Listen, as much as I love all the videos each week…pick a number that you feel is manageable each month and only do that many. Remember…those on your list on Facebook know how to help each other! Ask for help! Those that are experienced in Crochet can help others! We are a Facebook family!! Love ya!!!

  24. I also am grateful that I can get help at home and inspiration!! Folks A mail address is posted on the “how to contact us” page. The Crochet Crowd®
    10 Mullen Drive, PO Box 473
    Walkerton, Ontario, Canada
    N0G 2V0
    If we sent five dollars or even 2 or 3 — we could help him get a computer — it is for us and he doesn’t charge us when most online classes cost at least 20 dollars.

    Post some $$ for a computer system to Mikey!!! Many little pennies add up to help support our crocheting addiction!!

  25. sara olga gagliardi c. says:

    Dearest Michael (Mikey) from I found your site on Youtube until now I see that you ha crecido mucho en your work (now I have you on Facebook) y tambien me di cuenta que es un adicto al trabajo, observando y viendo todo el trabajo que ud. hace dia a dia en la web: I say you: Thaks, so thaks for to teach us todo lo lindo que es el crochet ! but llega el momento de descansar y pensar en you!!! Stop one day, two days one week, one month. There is persons on youtube that after to put a several videos on crochet simply stopped.
    Michael you are an important person for us, you may care of you.
    (Sorry my english) Michael I love you, God Blessing to you and Diva!

  26. Jean Cummins says:

    Like many of us in the Crochet Crowd, you are a total perfectionist and want to please everyone all the time. Like you said this stems from your High school experiences. Did you ever stop to think that the reason you could not end your life when you were feeling down was because God had a higher purpose for you. You are special and you are loved. However, you need to start stepping back, even if it is for one day a week and having some “me” time or “we” time with Dan. Those of us who love you both will still be here when you get back. All you have to do is let everyone know “I’m taking today off” and us “hookers” will step up and run things for you until you get back. Don’t feel guilty about sleeping in once in a while. Don’t be so strict about setting time lines to post video’s and such. We understand that your batteries do run down from time to time and you need to recharge. Sit down, hug your kitty’s, take a long walk with Dan, watch a TV show or video, start saying “NO” every now and then. No one will hate you for doing it and if someone have a negative comment, don’t let them get to you. They have to learn to do a little for themselves. Your tutorials and videos could not get any easier. I don’t mean to sound like I am scolding you. I, as well as many others, just want you to be around for the long haul. Take care of you!!! You are loved!!

  27. Nancy says:

    Mikey, the people that love you far outweigh the few who make negative comments. It definitely sounds like you need to take some time for yourself. Everyone needs vacation time so I think it is time for you to take one. Your fans can survive for a bit without you (although we will miss you). You know a lot of bloggers. I am sure that some of them would be willing to write some guest posts or share some patterns while you were taking a much needed & deserved break. I like some of the suggestions about taking breaks just for you. Long walks are good to get away (& besides relaxing you, they can be helpful in weight loss). As others have mentioned, if you get some external drives, you can move some of your files to the external drives where they will be accessible and later you can delete files that you no longer need but there will not be the pressure to have to do it so you can move forward.

    Take care of yourself. And please if you are having negative thoughts, talk to someone. You are loved by far more people that you can possibly realize & we will continue to love you even if you slow down.

  28. Lorene says:

    Please don’t quit. I can’t imagine any one complain about you. You have a talent and you don’t know how much you have helped me. I had ( in remission) cancer and I love making the things you make. I had made a baby a outfit for one of my nurses. Such a joy to give something homemade I worked on.
    You need to give yourself permission to relax one day a week. I grew up thinking if I was not busy I was not worth anything. Please take time for yourself. You will come back with a new perspective and dedication.
    I think of you as a celebrity and I don’t know if you will read this or not but please don’t quit. You have so many projects that you could take a day off every week.
    Think of yourself and your health.

  29. Carla says:

    Mikey, never give up on you. I love your site and all you do. But if you do not take care of you, we will lose you. I can only imagine how hard it is to keep up. I for one say take a break. We are all still here and if people are rude delete them. You have a major fan base so if you think deleting a few will damage your reputation, IT WILL NOT. Social service people always get a lot of slack, usually from people who want something out of you. They are unhappy with their lives. I have written you privately about an issue, you were kind, addressed my concern, and you were awesome. If people cannot be nice and learn to talk, or write nicely they are not worth your time. Please take some time for you. I know you have the classic fest coming up, but let friends help you with pricing, pizza is always a good motivator. LOL. Wish I lied closer I would help you for just a bunch of java while working. Hang in there.

  30. Oh Mikey, I sympathize. I was the same way until I got sick. I realized I couldn’t do everything and that people were more than willing to help if I would just ask. Now my “to do” list is a little different and I am much happier and less stressed because of it, minus the chronic illness part of course.

    I don’t want to see you make yourself sick in order to come to the same realization. There are thousands of ways to get yourself organized and free up some time, but you need to figure out what works for you. I recommend a nice cup of tea and a journal…take a “time out”, write down what you want, what you have and why you’re unhappy. Sometimes reading it back will help you realize how you can accomplish what you want, using what you have to make you happy. 😉

    Good luck! (And all of us are more than willing to help you if we can, all you need to do is ask!)

    ~Samantha

  31. pnwknitter says:

    Dear Mikey, My wish for you is to see yourself through the eyes of those that believe in you, respect you and want the best for you.! Having the never ending “To Do” lists and forgetting to leave time for yourelf can come at a high price. Have you thought of making an appointment or date with yourself? Maybe a date with Diva Dan? Go someplace that you’ve thought about but have delayed going? You have the ability and right to make quiet time for yourself….away from work that you love as loving yourself is even more important! It allows you to replenish your spirit and renew your strength. Make a date with yourself. Mark it in ink on your calendar. Don’t allow yourself to talk yourself out of it. You ARE important! ‘YOU’ time is important!

  32. Marie Bragg says:

    its time for Mikey and diva Dan to stop and small the roses ,in you all case maybe stop and plant some roses ,but keep in mind you are loved and respected by thousands and taking a moment to yourselves would be a good thing you need to stop and refresh .we all need to take a moment to just be .

  33. Melissa Kroll says:

    Mikey,
    Please know that you are a wonderful person & that there are going to people out there that don’t like what you do or have done! They are not worth your time! You are a awesome person & I have learned so much from you already! Also, it sounds like you might need to take a little break & then come back & do what you do best! We love you!

  34. crochetqueen228 says:

    First of all, you are hugely loved and appreciated. Secondly, the thing to remember is for a workaholic rest and time off ARE work. It is not easy and has to be learned. You say you have to do lists, well time off has to be one of the things on that list. EVERYDAY! You can mark it off when it is done just like everything else. It will be difficult at first but will get easier as you go. Take one hour everyday to do absolutely nothing that has to do with work. If your thinking about work, it doesn’t count. This is essential for your health and the health of your relationships with those you love. You have built a strong community, we are here for you just like you are here for us.

  35. Marian says:

    I didn’t have a good high school experience either however I try not to dwell on the past. My mother always told me never to look back. Even if you have one person in your life that loves you at this moment in time you are ahead of the game in life. I think its also hard to stop your creative thinking because it is who you are maybe if you just stop beating yourself up and just try to enjoy the moment you might feel better. One of my favorite quotes “Don’t worry about tomorrow today has enough problems of its own”. So try to do what you want and what needs to be done for the day.

    I thank you for sharing your heart and inspiring me.

  36. Anna M says:

    Oh Mikey, I’m so sorry you’re feeling lost in your addiction. It sounds like seeing an addictions specialist (therapist w/training in this area) would be a good place to start- they can help you set reasonable boundaries around work and help walk you through creating a plan of action so if you ever get to this place again you know how to pull yourself out. There are also 12-step programs available they can direct you to. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. It’s truly crazy-making.

    I also can’t believe people have the gaul (sp?) to complain about all the beautiful, thorough and FREE content you create!

    Perhaps external drives for storing videos and photos is the answer? Thus keeping your desk/laptop to just personal and immediate projects? Or tapping your fan base for someone local who’s also an IT guy or gal and willing to help you out of the kindness of their hearts?

    Whatever happens going forward I hope you’re able to get some sense of calm and control back in your life! xx Anna xx

  37. Elaine Dowd says:

    Mikey just rember you can’t please everyone all the time I know I have lived through it my husband has had 4strokes because he always wanted to help others. He is going strong and still helping others, but l now know when to slow him a little. Please slow down some it’s not worth your health, because there are more that just don’t care about others than the ones that do care TAKE TIME FOR YOU! Please!

  38. Laraine says:

    Good morning Mikey. The first thing you need to realize is, you are a rare breed. By that I mean you are a person who cares about everyone more than himself. It is good in a way, but when it takes over your life, it isn’t healthy for you. Please please try to step back a little and do something for just you or you and Dan. You can’t work 24/7 without burning out. Nobody can. Forget about any negative emails/responses to you. Throw them in the trash where they belong. People who truly care about you and what you have given us would never do that. Those people are your core. Go out and do things that have nothing to do with crochet every once in a while, and enjoy peace. We will still be here and be loyal to you.
    Bless your heart Mikey. We love you.

  39. Cathy says:

    Hey, Mikey, me again. I was just listening to Rick Nelson’s “Garden Party” and it made me think of you, “…you can’t please everyone; so, you got to please yourself”.

  40. Lauragay Barnes says:

    It isn’t your fault always except you accept it. You have enough Love and Light to live a life of LOVE fully. I am sorry people gripe at you, you aren’t responsible for their bad manners. LauraLight

  41. Carolyn says:

    Excellent sharing, Mikey – very cathartic…..it’s good to be introspective occasionally, but then it’s good to walk away, take a very DEEP breath, and move on to the next level of achievement/accomplishment/living………………….((HUGS))!

  42. Cheryl E says:

    Mikey, I had some rough patches during high school also, but none quite as hard as you. Know that we love you – there will always be a few grouches out there. It has taken me many years to not take everything to heart as I am a people pleaser too. I agree with the others – you need to take a bit of time off. There is a great library of videos you have made and patterns you have posted. Not one of us could watch them all & do all the projects! Please do something for yourself – rejuvenate! (This also has taken me a long time to realize that I need to do for myself) We would rather do without Mikey for a month while he is taking time for himself than do without Mikey.

    And yes, you need a new computer with a few terabytes of storage. Have you thought about external hard drives – you can have a library and separate your files by subject? Unplug them when they are not needed. Just a thought.

    Take care of yourself & remember we care about you!

  43. Bonnie says:

    Mikey……your message was heart wrenching. We all love you so much and need you in our lives. I think it’s time you and Diva Dan take a “stay-cation” right there in your home….perhaps in your home town…..or even just get in the car and drive for a while to someplace to be alone and relax. When I felt as though life was crashing in on me, I decided to take 45 minutes a day……as often as I could…..to practice yoga. It’s been a lifesaver of mind and body.

    Seeing yourself in “real time” was a message that it’s time to take another look at your surroundings and walk away for a short break. Even though you love what you do, you need to be healthy and happy to do it.

    Be good to yourself Mikey……you’re worth it!

    And to anyone else who is reading this……..maybe we need to start a fund to get Mikey a new computer!! I don’t know how to make that happen, but when it’s set up, I’M IN!!

    Stay strong Mikey……..we love you 🙂

  44. Oh Mikey, I just want to come over there and make you sit down, wrap you up, make you a hot beverage and lock away your access to the outside world.

    From what you have written it is obvious you need to take some ME time. Forget about your loyal fans for a few days or more. We will still be here when you come back. That’s why we are called loyal.

    We love you for who you are. You have taught many of us to crochet and to move beyond our comfort zone into new more challenging projects.

    Go build a snowman. I hear your part of the world has not yet discovered spring.

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